2020 feels like an exceptionally good year to focus on bringing about positive change in my life because not only is the beginning of a new decade something that feels incredibly symbolic to me, but — *knocks on wood* — I’m speaking it into the universe now: I have a lot of hope and optimism about this new year!
In 2019, my biggest goal was to learn to take it easier on myself and practice more self-care. While I obviously still have room to grow, I would say I did a lot of that this year! I started focusing on loving on myself, not being so unkind to myself, and learning how to say “no” more instead of spreading myself so thin in my personal and work life. Even in my blogging life, I learned how to focus less on numbers and more on people, and how to stop berating myself every time I failed at a commitment or goal. I learned how to say “I’m sorry, but my mental health comes before your expectations”, and that alone felt huge. But, I digress! Moving on to what you’re all here for today:
As 2019 is drawing to a close, it’s time to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new…
These are my 2020 goals, both bookish and non-bookish!
Let’s start with the general “life” resolutions for the new year:
Much like “self-care” was the underlying phrase for everything I focused on in 2019, the phrase I’ve chosen for 2020 is “just do it!”
I just want to imagine Shia yelling this at me all year.
Seriously, though — I have a very major character flaw that I’ve never admitted even existed until the past few months: if I think I can’t do something right the first time, I just don’t do it. Whether it’s something professional, or blog-related, or in my craft, or even just in everyday hobbies, I refuse to put myself out there if it feels like there’s a legitimate risk of failure because I’ve spent my entire life telling myself it’s better to lose an opportunity altogether than to risk feeling like I did a poor job. And, uh, spoiler alert: THIS IS NOT OKAY! I’ve held myself back from so much in life because of this, and I’m not letting these fears of failure run my life anymore!
So, when I say my phrase of 2020 is “just do it!”, what I mean is that my biggest goal for 2020 is, every time I start to hold myself back from something due to fear of failure, to stop, look myself dead in the eye, and say, “No, screw this. Even if you fail the first time, you’ll never get better without trying. JUST DO IT!”
A few examples of things I want to “just do” in 2020:
- Practice art! I loved drawing and painting until I hit my preteens and convinced myself I would never get any better, and stopped doing it entirely. Even if I’m not good at it at first, 2020 is my year to start legitimately trying to make artwork again!
- Get in touch with my witchcraft more. If you’re not a witch, you probably wouldn’t think spirituality would be something that impostor syndrome could really affect, but you’d be wrong! A lot of witches — especially ones suffering from unpredictable mental or physical health struggles (*raises hand for both*) — struggle with feeling like their practicing isn’t “enough” or like they don’t know enough or aren’t good enough to get very involved with their witchcraft. This was actually never a problem for me until I became friends with other witches — and don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that’s anyone else’s fault! All I mean is that I’m terrible about comparing myself to friends, so when some of my friends who were newer than me to craft started having these incredible experiences and becoming super knowledgeable, I began to doubt myself. “If I’ve been doing this for so many years and they just started this year, why are they so much better at it than me? Is there something wrong with me?” I’ve had to realize two things lately: 1) It’s not a contest. 2) Much of why I don’t feel as “connected” as I used to is because of the comparisons.
- Form closer friendships in the book community! I hold myself back from talking to people so much because I’m terrified I’ll say something dumb or I’ll annoy someone or whatever. Again, fear of failure and not being enough comes into play a lot with my social interactions with people! I want to really reach out to people more in 2020 and put in more effort to these relationships.
- Finally, and this feels like the biggest and scariest one… I really want to give booktube a try. I know a year ago, I said I was starting one in 2019, and then I didn’t. I tried to, genuinely, but the fear of failure absolutely debilitated me. I was so scared that my videos would be boring or poorly produced, and nobody would like them, and I would end up with no interactions or followers at all, and it would hurt my feelings and feel like rejection and I would regret ever trying — so I just didn’t try at all. And honestly, that’s something that’s nagged at me all damn year. Even if I only do a few videos and find out it’s not for me, or even if I only upload one or two videos a month, at least I’m going to try.
So, those are my big life resolutions for 2020! I have a few other, smaller goals, like learning to focus on my long-term health more (not so much “weight loss” as “cutting back on sweets and artificial junk”), getting back into a daily yoga routine (I miss it so much!), and budgeting better, but the ones I listed above are the “scary” ones that feel biggest.
Next, on a lighter note… let’s talk about those bookish and blogging goals!
(Technically, the booktube thing probably should’ve gone here, but it felt big and dramatic so I wanted it in the first list…)
Of course I have a 2020 TBR, and we’ll get to that in a second, but first a few general goals I have for my blog and my reading life:
- Post more gaming content! I genuinely love video games and play them pretty often, and I already know a lot of you do, too, so I want to start posting more about that, even if it’s just monthly gaming wrap-ups or something. If the booktube thing goes okay, maybe I’ll give streaming on Twitch a try, too? Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, Destiny.
- More reviews, less memes! Y’all… you already know, but I fell back pretty hard on memes this year! For a while, I was doing 5 at once every week (TBR Lows & Highs, The Sunday Post, T10T, WWW, and Stacking the Shelves) They were easy and fun content to create, but more notably, they filled in the gaps so I didn’t have to actually write reviews. You know… on my book review blog. At one point, I think I went an entire month without posting a single full-length review — and that’s not okay, for me! If others want to skip posting reviews on their blogs, that’s totally fine and I think every blog has its niche, but mine used to be actual reviews, and I miss those days and want to get back to them.
- Reply to comments every single day. Yep, I know it may sound like a lot, but 1) replying takes no time at all if I do it once a day instead of letting them build up, 2) I can reply on my phone if I’m away from my computer all day, and 3) I MISS YOU GUYS. I miss talking to you every day like I did in the early days of my blog! 2017 and 2018 Destiny would never have dreamed of going 3 months between replying to comments, but 2019 Destiny did that 3 times this year. (Ow, that hurt to admit!)
- Read every single day. This is one of the biggest ones. I kept a reading tracker in 2018 where I marked off every day that I read for at least half an hour, and that chart was almost FULL. There were literally less than 10 days left unmarked by the end of 2018! If I had done the same tracker in 2019, I bet half of it would have been empty, and that makes me sad because I genuinely love reading every day, even if it’s just a couple of chapters before bed. This is actually one of the goals I’m most excited about!
- Clear my overdue review copy TBR. I’ve posted plenty about this and the ARC Apocalypse readathon I’m hosting, so I’ll just let you click that link if you want more info! I’ve even created an ARC TBR page you can check out here for updates throughout the year!
- Listen to more audiobooks! I know I could get through these overdue ARCs so much faster if I pick up a bunch of them in audiobooks from the library, so I want to make a concerted effort to get into the habit of listening to audiobooks whenever I’m in the car or cleaning around the house, or even gaming (when it’s not too intense of a game haha)!
I know these goals might sound ambitious, and a lot of people are going to be tempted to tell me not to challenge myself so much, and I know those people have only the best and sweetest intentions. Seriously, every time someone comments asking me to take it easy, I feel warm fuzzies because I know y’all are looking out for my well-being, and I love you all so much for that! But I’ve learned many times over throughout my life that I have the sort of brain that requires being kept busy and being challenged and inspired. I allowed myself to let go of that in 2019, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was the worst mental health year I’ve had since I was a teenager. I mean, brutal — and I genuinely think a lot of it was due to the fact that I didn’t keep my silly brain stimulated enough to keep the demons at bay.
And finally, for my 2020 TBR list…
I’ve never really “themed” my yearly TBR around anything before, but I thought I’d give it a try this year! So, for my “20 in ’20” list, I decided to go with “second chance books”: books I’ve DNFed/set aside in the past and want to try again! Almost all of these are books I fully think I will love, but wasn’t in the right mindset for the last time I tried them. This post has been long enough, though, so I’m just going to dump the covers and titles below and wrap things up here!
That’s it! Those are my 2020 goals. Thanks for making it this far if you actually read this whole thing! ♥ Let me know in the comments what your goals are, if any of these books are on your 2020 TBR, or if you have any tips for how I can stick to my resolutions in the new year!
— destiny ♥