We haven’t had a discussion post in a while, and this one was really quite spur-of-the-moment, but I feel like I need to make some big changes to most of my bookish platforms and I wanted to be up-front about them.
I’ve been struggling with staying afloat in the bookish world this year.
I’m also sure that a lot of you can relate, and that’s why I’m writing this post. If any of this hits home for you, I want you to know that I get it and I’m here for you.
🍂 First, some insight into where I’m at and why I’m feeling out of sorts lately.
1. I got my start as a YA blogger, but I don’t read much YA anymore.
Meanwhile, my social media feeds are primarily much younger YA bloggers, and while I love these bloggers and will absolutely continue to support them, sometimes I feel a bit, well… old and out of touch? 😂 (I’m only turning 28 next weekend — I shouldn’t feel old yet, should I?!) I think it’s past time that I step outside of my socially anxious little bubble and start making more friends closer to my own age, too!
2. I get tired of talking about books 24/7.
I know, *GASP!*
I adore reading, but it isn’t my only hobby! I love so many other things, but I’m always afraid to talk too much about my other interests because I worry that a lot of the bookish community, whether it’s on social media or our blogs or booktube, expects bookish content creators to ONLY talk about books. (Am I imagining this, or does anyone else feel this way, too??)
3. I’ve spent most of this year feeling totally overwhelmed.
Whether it’s trying to keep up with new releases, schedules, promoting review copies (and feeling TERRIBLE for every single ARC release I miss), being active enough on social media that the algorithms don’t hide my posts, watching stats and numbers, learning how to create booktube videos… need I go on? I’ve spread myself far too thin over the last few years, and I finally reached a point where I can recognize that. When I’m missing time with my family or putting off things I want to do because I feel like I “have to” write another blog post, film another video, etc., it’s a problem.
4. I miss peaceful, relaxing reading habits, like…
- reading whatever I want to read, when I want to read it
- joining readathons without hesitation, rather than obsessing over schedules
- going a few days without reading and NOT feeling bad
- getting an ARC and reading it right that day because I’m so damn excited, instead of setting it aside until closer to its release date because I have too many titles coming out before it that I feel like I “need” to read first
I’ve gotten into such unhealthy habits with reading, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s a big part of why I’ve spent most of 2020 in a reading slump.
5. I want to have time to pursue hobbies that have nothing to do with books.
I’ve recently started gaming a LOT again, and it’s been absolute bliss. It offers me escapism that books aren’t able to give me right now, and best of all, I’ve started making some incredible friends through Twitch and gaming Discord servers! After being a gamer my entire life and never feeling accepted in the gaming community (because, truly, how many women do?), I finally found people who make me feel like I can play multiplayer games, and stream, and generally have a presence on Twitch without being scared of abuse or toxicity — and all of that makes me really want to get back into frequent streaming!
But if I want to have time for streaming and gaming, I have to take time away somewhere else, and that’s what the bottom line of this post really is about.
🍂 What does all of this mean for my content, though?
✨ for my BLOG:
My blog is pretty unaffected by all of this. I’m considering moving my weekly wrap-ups back to Wednesdays so I can do a Mon-Fri schedule and take the weekend off, but that’s only because I’m really bad at remembering to finish my wrap-up posts on Saturdays! My blog is the one place in the bookish community that I feel totally happy and comfortable, and it’s a great outlet for me, so I’ll still be here plenty!
✨ for my BOOKSTAGRAM:
I’ve been trying ALL YEAR to get back on a “good” schedule, but a chat with one of my best friends helped me realize that I don’t want to get back into a consistent IG schedule because I want to, but because I think I’m supposed to. That’s not a good enough motive! I like bookstagram and miss being more active, but I’ve decided to let go of the idea of a daily schedule. Right now, my plan is to come back with 2-3 posts per week at the absolute most and to just post whenever I feel like it instead of obsessing over stats and the algorithm.
✨ for my BOOK TWITTER:
I hate writing this, but I don’t enjoy book twitter as much as I used to. My feed has become a constant source of drama and negativity. I’m very grateful that it never *directly* involves me, but simply seeing it over and over again has been taking a huge toll on me, whether it’s the casual racism that often goes unchecked, the way readers constantly attack authors and force themselves to disclose parts of their lives they aren’t comfortable with yet (or ever), or just the simple, petty gossip and bullshit…
Anyways, I’ll be: 1) curating my feed a LOT, and 2) moving most of my twitter presence over to my gaming twitter account (@tinyzombiegames).
✨ and for my BOOKTUBE:
This is the part that stings — not because I’m sad, but because I’m afraid of disappointing people. I just have to be honest, though: I don’t enjoy booktube enough for it to be worth the time, effort, and emotional labor it costs me. I love watching videos, and I would love to get into filming reading vlogs occasionally (for readathons and personal challenges), but I’m going to drop down to a video every few weeks or so at the most. I also won’t be posting anymore TBRs, hauls, or wrap-up videos in the foreseeable future.
And, uh… well, I guess that’s it! I feel a bit awkward now and don’t know how to close this out. 😂 If you read all of this, I really, truly appreciate you. These things might seem unimportant to a lot of people, but as someone who has based so much of my personal identity around the bookish community, learning how to take a step back isn’t easy for me, and I know the best way to hold myself accountable so that I don’t fall back into “workaholic” tendencies is to be up-front about my goals with everyone here.
And again, if you related to any of this or are feeling similarly, please know that I’m here.
Feel free to let me know here or DM me on whatever social media or email me, even, because honestly, I’m feeling a little alone right now and could use the comradery, too. ♥ I’m just hoping at least a few of you can understand where I’m coming from and that I won’t be disappointing too many of you.
Thank you all so much for your support and love. I love you all!
— destiny ♥
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